In fact, the romantic feelings behind most of today’s weddings were not the basis for ancient weddings. The basis for ancient weddings was usually for property, land or power and had nothing to do with love. More land or property, which came with the joining of two families by the marriage of their children, meant more power to both.

When the bride walked down the aisle with her father, it symbolized the end of her freedom and the transferring of the “ownership” of his daughter and dowry goods, such as animals, physical goods and/or land. The financial standing of both families was increased by this union of their children.

I am sure you’ve heard or read this traditional blessing or poem that has become a list of items the bride is supposed to wear or carry with her at today’s wedding.

“Something old, Something new, Something borrowed, Something blue and a silver sixpence in your shoe.”

That old mantra dates back to Victorian times and is really a blessing for the couple. “Something old” represented the enduring unions of the wedding of ancestors. Carrying “something new” is a blessing for the future of the couple, while “something borrowed” foretells the support of family and friends. The color blue has been a wedding tradition dating back to ancient Rome and carried over to the Christianity’s Virgin Mary. It has symbolized love, purity and fidelity for centuries.

If the bride wears a silver sixpence in her shoe, prosperity will be in her future. While this is a common British custom, brides everywhere have taken to wearing a coin in their shoes to attract good fortune. There is some evidence that it may have started with a Scottish custom of the groom standing on a silver coin for good luck.

While you might think that the seating of families was so the individual friends and relatives of the bride and groom could sit together, you would be mistaken. In ancient times, since marriages were for land or power, the families often did not like each other and the separated seating was to keep them from fighting during the ceremony.

A long time ago, it was considered unlucky for a woman to marry a man whose last name began with the same letter as hers. If the bride-to-be would practice writing her married name before the ceremony, she would be tempting fate.

The bride, even today, stands on the groom’s left during the ceremony because, in another time, the groom would carry his sword on his right in order to protect his bride.

With so many superstitions to contend with, it is surprising that any ancient weddings went off as planned. But, in case there was a need to ensure good luck the week before the wedding, the bride could always persuade a cat to eat out of her left shoe so good luck would bless her married life.

With more than 1,000 different tribes living on the African continent, colorful wedding celebrations reflecting several religious beliefs are common. Muslim traditions might be seen in the weddings of a couple in northern Africa, while tribes living to the south could have Christian, Jewish or Hindu beliefs evident in their ceremonies.

Regardless of the tribe’s culture or religious beliefs, the one steady belief that runs through most African cultures is the importance of family. African weddings are more a blending of families, or even two tribes, into one unit than a simple marriage of two people.

Some traditional African wedding ceremonies can last several days and, in some cases, a huge group wedding ceremony will marry many couples at the same time. On the coast of Kenya, in Lamu, weddings can go on for an entire week, complete with singing, dancing and lots of food prepared by the women in the family. That week-long festivity is celebrated separately for men and women.

Many African cultures expect their children to marry as young as 13 to 15 years old, which is considered a transition from childhood to adulthood.

Some areas or religions allow multiple marriages. In Somalia, for example, a man can have four wives if he can support them. In some places, it is common for a man to be engaged to a girl before she is born.

Along the Nile, particularly in Sudan, a wife’s family expects to be paid handsomely for the loss of their daughter and her extra set of hands helping with the daily survival of the family. That payment could be 30 to 40 head of cattle, which often causes a hardship to the new husband who needs enough cattle left to support his wife.

A Bedouin Black African Arab tribe living in southern Sudan, called the Baggara, believes that a man’s first wife should be one of his own cousins. The cousins most sought after are usually on the father’s side.

In Nigeria (west Africa), the old, very traditional weddings are giving way to church weddings like those in the western world. Before that more modern adaptation, a husband never used his wife’s given name. Only relatives and the couple’s own children were allowed to use the name her father gave her. If someone wanted to know the wife’s married name, they had to ask the husband.

In Egypt, a procession announces the marriage with drums, bagpipes, belly dancers and men carrying flaming swords. Women commonly married at a very young age. Their spouse was usually their own cousin, carrying on the family’s blood relationship. In Cairo, that isn’t the case because, in that city, the man’s mother or other close female relatives “help” him find the perfect woman to be his wife.

Young girls are trained to be good wives from a very young age in many areas of Africa. They learn secret codes and languages that let them talk to other married women, while keeping their husbands clueless about what is being said. That technique might have already spread around the world, ignoring borders and languages.

There are hundreds of African wedding traditions not mentioned here. With over 1,000 African tribes and as many different traditions and religions going way beyond the scope of this article, it would be impossible to cover them all.

The wedding reception is probably the part of the wedding that will have the most interaction, especially between guests, and you will want to make the arrangements as appropriate and comfortable as possible for them. No guest wants to be left guessing where to sit, or to be rejected at a table, or feel awkward in a pool of strangers. Creating a seating chart or plan eliminates this problem and ensures that your guests are given an enjoyable time during the festivities.

The first step in creating a seating chart is to first know who is attending your reception. Don’t start making a plan unless you have received your RSVPs. You want to make sure that you’re leaving no gaps in your planning, and that only the most minimal changes will occur. Once you’ve gotten the list of sure attendees, you can start mapping out your chart.

In making the arrangements, it’s good to first get a floor plan of how the tables at the reception will be arranged. You will want to sit your family and those closest to you at the table(s) toward the front, or near the bridal table, so getting a floor plan cuts out the possibility of you inadvertently assigning them to the back. When it comes to arranging the seats, the bridal table is probably the easiest to design. Of course, the bride and the groom will be seated there, together with the best man and the maid of honor.

Then you can start thinking about which groups of people should be seated together. Be sensitive when it comes to this; there might be guests who only know a few of the others and you will want to sit them with people that they can be comfortable with. While this is a good chance for people to get to know each other, it’s also good to keep acquainted people together. Don’t keep a whole group together though, but have them mingle with everyone else.

You’ll also want to decide if you will have a separate kids’ table; if there are a lot of children in your wedding, a separate one might be advisable. But, if you’ve only got a few, then it might be best to sit them with their parents instead.

Remember that there will always be a few unplanned guests or those who don’t RSVP, so you’ll need to plan accordingly and leave some empty seats for these extra guests. In addition, guests in wheelchairs should be placed at tables that are easily accessible and will need a little extra room beyond the size of a regular chair.

How do you inform people of their seating? Placecards are the traditional way of marking who sits where, keeping people from being confused as to where to go. You can pair these with escort cards, which guests can use to match their names with. A seating chart at the reception entrance might also be a good idea, together with a list of the seating arrangement, to guide your guests.

Remember, planning a seating chart eliminates a lot of problems you might have at the reception. Take a little time to plan and you’re sure to have a smooth sailing wedding celebration.

Customs and traditions from Mexico or Latin America have become very popular in the U.S.A. and several other countries because of the deep symbolism and beauty of weddings from south of the border.

One of the major differences in a Mexican wedding is who pays for the wedding. Both families are involved with the wedding plans from the beginning and all help with the expenses, including parents, grandparents, godparents and friends. The bridesmaids and the groomsmen each traditionally pay for a specific item for either the ceremony or the reception.

Bridesmaids and groomsmen are paired and each pair is responsible for a different function in the wedding ceremony. One pair will provide the highly symbolic Lazo, effectively a ceremonial lasso that is a symbol of unity in this case. The Lazo could be a white satin cord or a large loop of rosary beads and is draped around the couple’s shoulders, or around their wrists, as they kneel for a wedding prayer.

As a symbol of their love, the couple wears the Lazo for the rest of the service. The couple who placed the Lazo around the couple removes it at the end of the ceremony and gives it to the bride as a reminder of their promise to always remain together.

Another pair of attendants provides the bride’s bouquet, while a third brings the Arras, 13 gold or silver coins in wealthier families and gold-plated in families who are not so wealthy. Traditionally, the groom gives the coins to his bride to show his promise and ability to support his family.

If there are only three pairs of attendants, the pair who provided the Arras also provide the pillows the couple kneels upon during the service.

The money dance originated in Europe and has become a very popular way to help start the couple out with some ready cash. At some weddings, there is a special purse or money bag available for collecting cash donations to the new couple’s future. The money dance, called the dollar dance in the U.S.A., is however, a different way to help the couple financially.

Male guests are expected to pay to dance with the bride. Different cultures have different methods of collecting the payment. In some, the bride carries a purse and the dancers put the currency in it. Some will pin the money on the bride’s wedding gown. Sometimes, the maid of honor will wear an apron with pockets to collect the dancing payments.

As in most weddings, the bride chooses her wedding colors and they will be prominent in all aspects of the ceremony, including the wedding cake. The automobiles used for transporting the attendants will be decorated with ribbon and paper flowers in the same colors. The church pews will be adorned with flowers and bows of the same colors. Petals from the flowers will continue the color theme on the bridal path to the altar. If a piñata is included in the festivities, it will be heart-shaped and probably full of wedding candies and appropriate trinkets.

A wedding anywhere is a beautiful and symbolic ceremony full of traditions and meaning for all who attend. The growing practice of blending family traditions with a few from other cultures deepens the significance for the new couple.

The traditional bachelor party signifying the groom’s transition into a family man from a swinging single is the Best Man’s responsibility. In some places, the bachelor party has been replaced by a couple’s party and jointly hosted by the Best Man and the Maid of Honor.

One of your duties, as a Best Man, is to attend the wedding rehearsal and the usual dinner afterwards. Another would be to help the groom pack for his honeymoon.

A hundred movies have been based on the antics needed to get the groom to the church on time for his wedding. Hopefully your groom won’t become the focus of another movie, but this is one of your most important Best Man duties. You might also need to help the groom get into his tux on the morning of the ceremony.

Before either one of you takes the first step toward the church, make sure you have the marriage license and the bride’s ring with you. Another good idea is to get the minister’s fee from the groom before you leave his house. You will be responsible for paying the minister privately after the ceremony. Also, determine that the groom has enough money, traveler’s checks or credit cards to cover their trip.

Another responsibility for you is to make sure the groom’s car is packed for the honeymoon trip and ready to leave after the reception, full of gas and any necessary reservation confirmations or tickets. If the new couple is going straight to the airport, your duty is to either take them there or arrange for a limousine or cab. If this is the case, have an envelope full of all the details of their trip, including tickets and reservations, to give the groom just before the couple leaves.

If a ring bearer is part of the ceremony, your task is to make sure that the child knows what he is supposed to do and when. It might be a good idea to make sure he knows that he is supposed to give the rings up at the appropriate time.

Be sure to keep the ushers organized and ready to escort the guests to their seats.

Minutes before the ceremony starts, you will escort the Maid of Honor down the aisle before the bride appears. During the ceremony, you will hold the bride’s wedding ring until it is needed by the groom.

At the reception, you will make the first toast and dance with the bride, both mothers and as many guests as you can. If possible, dance with all the bridesmaids. You will be the unofficial host at the reception and introduce people when necessary and make all the guests feel welcome.

As in any traditional ceremony, there will be duties and responsibilities not listed here. You, as Best Man, have a duty to make your groom’s day as easy as possible. You should be prepared to take care of details you never considered. Check everything and be part of creating a successful wedding for your bride and groom.

Family members and friends with specific skills might contribute to the wedding ceremony by making the bride’s wedding dress or baking and decorating the wedding cake. Another with a very green thumb might create the flower arrangements or the bride’s bouquet. Weddings are happy occasions in most families and relatives and friends would be happy to be a real participant in the event.

Here are some traditional guidelines for the usual division of payment in traditional weddings. Again, these are only suggestions.

Normally, anything to do with the bride’s dress or appearance is the responsibility of the bride’s family. That includes the bride’s wedding dress, headdress or jewelry. Also the bride’s responsibilities, or that of her family, are the bridesmaid’s gifts and bouquets, corsages for their grandmother and the flowers for the ceremony and the reception.

The decorations for the ceremony, like altar baskets filled with flowers in the bride’s colors or portable arches, are the obligation of the bride’s family. These decorations can include candelabras and kneeling benches for the ceremony. If the wedding is taking place outside, a canopy and carpet for the walk to the altar would be part of the bride’s expenses. Simply put, any rentals for either the ceremony or the reception would be paid for by the bride or her family.

During the initial planning for the wedding the bride will select, order and pay for the announcements, invitations and wedding programs, including any special napkins, matches or printed materials for the reception.

Both the bride and the groom buy the rings for each other, along with the traditional wedding gift they each exchange.

Traditionally, the groom pays for the bride’s bouquet, his own boutonniere and those for his groomsmen and ushers. He is also responsible for the corsages worn by both mothers. The groom pays for the marriage license and carries it with him to the ceremony.

He is also responsible for paying the clergyman’s fee or that of the public
official that performs the ceremony, though often the Best Man actually delivers the money to the clergyman.

The bride pays the church or chapel fee for the ceremony and for the reception, including the church janitor for the cleanup after. The bride pays for any music or photography for either location, including the church soloist or musician and band or DJ for the reception.

The wedding cake and any wedding favors for the guests are the bride’s expenses.

Some weddings are loaded with breakfasts, luncheons and dinners to help celebrate some aspect of the approaching nuptials. Who hosts and pays for each one could get confusing. The traditional arrangement is the groom’s family pays for the rehearsal dinner while the bride and her family are responsible for bridesmaid’s luncheons, the wedding breakfast, and the bridal brunch.

Finally, the groom pays for limousine service and the honeymoon details, while the bride handles accommodations for out-of-town guests.

While those divisions of responsibility are traditional and based on old habits carried down through the decades, today’s weddings are not so strictly traditional.  Whatever works for the couple is just fine.

Its use in wedding ceremonies is approximately 30-50 years old, depending on who you talk to and is apparently most popular in the United States. While the ceremony, itself, is simple, its use can be a particularly beautiful way to draw the families and friends closer to the bride and groom.

The Unity Candle ceremony uses three decorated candles, two tapers and a large pillar in the center of the tapers. The color is usually white, but some brides have ordered candles that complement their wedding colors. Others have decorated the Unity Candle, the large pillar, with a copy of the wedding invitation or a picture of the couple. Flowers or strands of white pearls have also been used to create personal candles for the ceremony.

Since there’s no proof of historical ceremonial traditions for a Unity Candle rite, the actual wedding ceremony can be anything the couple wants it to be. Usually, at the start of the wedding ceremony, the mothers of the bride and groom light the two taper candles. After the couple completes their vows, they light the Unity Candle together with the two tapers. The Unity Candle is usually saved and relit on anniversary celebrations.

The symbolism behind that simple ceremony represents the permanent merging of the bride and groom into one family. If the couple blows out the two tapers after lighting the Unity Candle, it symbolizes leaving their families and starting a new family together. If they don’t blow out the tapers, it has been said to symbolize continuing love for the couple from each family.

One beautiful variation of the simple candle ceremony involves all the guests and is a beautiful representation of the love and support that friends and family feel for the couple, their unity. A candle is given to each guest as they are seated. At the start of the ceremony, the first guest’s candle is lit and the flame is passed on to each guest in turn until all candles are lit. When the last guest’s candle is lit, the bride and groom light their Unity Candle.

This ritual is particularly beautiful because it makes every guest an actual part of the ceremony and not just observers. The backdrop of flickering candles while the couple recite their vows is truly something that will be remembered by everyone in the chapel that day. Candles draw people together and this Unity Candle Service is designed to do just that.

One thing to keep in mind, however, is that some churches do not allow this ceremony to be part of their service. Be sure to check with the church or chapel before you book it for your wedding.

Many brides decorate their own Unity Candles and others purchase them from stores or candle makers. Some have elaborate setups, including a candelabra that elevates the pillar, symbolizing the strength of the new union. The candles can be simple or highly decorated or molded into meaningful shapes, depending on your tastes.

Adding the Unity Candle to a wedding ceremony is a special way to bring the families and friends of the bride and groom closer together on this special day.

Some engaged couples don’t want to have a traditional wedding; they want something a little different.  Perhaps you don’t like to do what everyone else is doing… or you want your wedding to reflect your unique personalities and interests.  Whatever the reason, theme weddings can be as different from traditional weddings as you want, and lots of fun too!

Here are a few theme wedding ideas:

Motorcycle Wedding
Invitations should be motorcycle-related and programs can feature a picture of the happy pair on their motorcycle.
Have a Harley Davidson cake topper on your cake.
Table decorations or party favors can be temporary biker tattoos, tire gauges, toy motorcycles tied with biker ribbon, biker-shaped chocolate, etc.
Wear leather motorcycle jackets over the white dress and in place of the tux jacket.
The wedding reception can be at your favorite biker bar.
The food can be more casual.
Leave the wedding or reception on a motorcycle – complete with a tin can train.
If you’re getting married in Las Vegas they have a total motorcycle wedding package!

Beach or Tropical Wedding
Use invitations with a sunset over the ocean background or in the shape of a beach ball or palm tree. There are many choices available.
Party favors can be small seashells and polished rocks, or leis. The table can be decorated with small fish bowls with sand and shells.
Have plenty of drink umbrellas available for the reception beverages.
Slip in several Beach Boys, Jimmy Buffett, or IZ to the music line up.
The wedding cake can have tropical flowers on top, or even artfully carved tropical fruit.
Instead of the usual attire, the bridal party might wear tropical sun dresses and the men can wear matching (or not) tropical shirts.  Appropriate footwear would be sandals.

Sports Wedding
Whether you participate in a sport or are ardent fans, choose your sport and you’ll find many props to go along with it.
Wedding cake toppers – They come in just about any sport you might want.
Include your team’s uniform by wearing it at the reception.
The reception decorations should be in your team’s colors including the tablecloths and  napkins.
Try decorating the tables with a piece from your sport, such as an upside down small football helmet, filled with flowers.
Wedding favors can be posters, shot glasses, balls (such as tennis balls if your theme is tennis) or anything you can buy in bulk from your favorite fan shop.

Mardi Gras Wedding
Use colors that symbolize Mardi Gras – like green, gold, and purple in your reception decorations.  Don’t forget the balloons and confetti too.
Even if the bride wears a white wedding gown, she can be playful and wear the symbolic beaded necklaces.  The groom’s party can wear vests in Mardi Gras colors as part of their formal tux attire.
Masks for party favors would be a big hit, as well as bead necklaces and gold coins too.
Go all-out with the food and offer gumbo, jambalaya, crawfish, or beignets.
For the music – New Orleans jazz, of course!

More Themed Ideas to Consider:
Western Theme Wedding
Butterfly Theme Wedding
Hawaiian Themed Wedding
Movie Themed Wedding
Christmas Themed Wedding
Tuscan Themed Wedding
Wine Themed Wedding
Vegas Themed Wedding
Masquerade Themed Wedding
Disney Themed Wedding

These are just a few ideas for themed weddings. There are as many themes as there are interests so choose whatever theme you want and start thinking creatively.

Let’s explore ways to help your guests feel comfortable so they’ll relax, open up, and enjoy themselves.

1.  Start the bonding between families and friends at the bridal showers and bachelor party. That way the people at these events will have some common ground with each other when it comes time for the wedding reception.  Even if they didn’t previously know each other, they will now have some shared history.

2.  Music is important, even if you don’t plan to have dancing.  Keep it loud enough so that people can hear it, but not so loud they have to shout to be heard over it.  The type of music is important too. Make sure it’s light and uplifting.

3.  Have a slide show running on one wall featuring the bride and groom from babies to adulthood, lots of shots of friends and families, and as many funny (and potentially embarrassing) pictures as you can find.  This opens everyone up for a good laugh and brings out the conversation as the bride’s mom tells the groom’s sister the story that led up to a certain picture, etc.

4.  Make the room on the smallish size.  If the room is huge and the number of guests small, they have plenty of room to go hide in the corners.  You want the room size to force them to be closer together so they will mingle.

5.  Group dancing such as line dancing, the Stroll, the Hokey Pokey, and even the Bunny Hop get people together. The more ridiculous dances are usually good during the latter half of the reception after the ice has been broken.

6.  The dance with the bride (money dance) is a tradition for some families and one you should consider doing as it’s lots of fun and gets everyone involved.  Basically everyone lines up to dance with the bride and puts some money in the hat for the privilege to do so.

7.  A tango contest or limbo contest is another activity to try half way through the reception.  This can be hilarious and entertaining for everyone, not just those who are involved.  Be sure to have someone video tape it as you might end up with some footage suitable for the America’s Funniest Videos show.

8.  Give the loners at your reception a job to do. You can assign these guests disposable cameras and ask them to be in charge of getting some candid shots during the reception.

These are some ideas to help you have a reception where your guests feel comfortable and have a good time. Keep these in mind and your reception may be talked about fondly for years to come.

There are many theories about what generated the tradition of giving wedding guests a favor for attending the service. Some say the tradition originated with the Romans in the 8th century. Another states that the Romans, during 400 B.C. started the practice of throwing rice and giving wedding favors to guests.

Almonds have been a traditional symbol of good luck and assurances for successful marriages for centuries. Originally, only the titled families followed this practice and their favors were often made of silver or gold. When the custom filtered down to the other social classes, by the end of the 19th century, almonds were distributed in golden paper boxes.

Supposedly, when the groom gave his friends walnuts, he was saying goodbye to his bachelor ways. Walnuts were thrown at the couple during the ceremony and eventually evolved into today’s practice of throwing rice at them.

There are reports from English royalty during the 15th century that they usually handed out symbolic almonds in small boxes of precious metal to guests. Across the Channel, during the Napoleonic era, friends exchanged boxes of almonds as a wish for good luck.

In Russia, the Czars celebrated the christening of their children by giving their relatives and friends specially designed boxes of gold filled with sweets.

Middle Eastern weddings today use Jordan almonds at most weddings to continue this ancient symbolic rite. Guests are given 5 Jordan almonds to represent traditional wedding wishes of fertility, health, wealth and a long life together full of happiness. The candy coating on the almond is said to represent both the bitter and the sweet side of marriage.

In Malaysia, the groom is likely to send wedding presents to his future bride. Children are the traditional bearers of the gifts, which usually include elaborately decorated trays of food, including origami made with currency that represent flowers and cranes. A Korean marriage custom of each guest receiving a beautifully decorated hard-boiled egg to represent fertility is a welcomed wedding favor.

Party Crackers were popular as wedding favors during the Victorian Era and are still used today as favors or for other festive occasions, particularly for the British Christmas season, but not exclusively. They are a popular treat for parties of any theme, especially at children’s parties.

Apparently they were invented by Tom Smith, a London pastry cook, in the 1840′s. On a trip to Paris he was fascinated by a French holiday practice of placing sweets and sugared almonds in a bit of twisted colored paper. He called his creation “Kiss Mottos” and did not have much success with them until he made the paper container pop or crack when it was pulled apart.

Today’s wedding receptions continue the practice of giving wedding favors to guests. Some are traditional, but it has often evolved into themed practices, like wine, hearts, flowers, etc. Seasonal themes are very popular at certain times of the year and are a perfect theme to use around Valentine’s day.

Personalized favors have a strong following and guests might receive a set of pens and pencils engraved with the date of the wedding or a shot glass engraved with the details. One thoughtful gift might be a small silver, engraved frame with a picture of the bride and groom.

The wedding favor tradition has definitely evolved into a successful industry that has provided a solution to the wedding favor quandary and the time-consuming task of choosing the right favor for your wedding.